Fagging It Up: Types of fags you'll find in the wild (Part 2)
0 Comments
»
Continuing in the tradition of Part 1, we will continue to examine the complicated world that is internet faggotry.
6.) Furfag: This fag is usually ridiculed by all other fags, and for good reason. This type of fag often masturbates to porn about Barney the Purple Dinosaur getting gangbanged by a bunch of anthropomorphic barn animals. This type of fag should be subject to as much fursecution as possible.
Srsly?
Lieks: Humping your stuffed animal collection, ruining your childhood by drawing porn about Sonic the Hedgehog, Barrel Rolls.
Dislieks: People who identify IRL/via the tubes as a 100% human being, fursecution.
Secrets: Was raped as a child by their drunk stepfather with a Teddy Ruxpin.
7.) Trannyfag: This term actually comes from the transexual culture and refers specifically to women making the choice to become gay men; who wants to be a woman, amirite? Trannyfags are the opposite of chicks with dicks with an added twist of being assuredly in it for the cawk - gay men with vaginas, or sometimes gay men with fake constructed penises. This is an ex-woman who has made the best possible choice, and (ONLY) after successful sexual transition, may actually use the internet.
Sry, dude, I only go for guise who were born guise.
Dislieks: People who identify IRL/via the tubes as a 100% human being, fursecution.
Secrets: Was raped as a child by their drunk stepfather with a Teddy Ruxpin.
7.) Trannyfag: This term actually comes from the transexual culture and refers specifically to women making the choice to become gay men; who wants to be a woman, amirite? Trannyfags are the opposite of chicks with dicks with an added twist of being assuredly in it for the cawk - gay men with vaginas, or sometimes gay men with fake constructed penises. This is an ex-woman who has made the best possible choice, and (ONLY) after successful sexual transition, may actually use the internet.
Sry, dude, I only go for guise who were born guise.
Lieks: Having a cawk, facial hair, fixing cars, trucks, and motorcycles. Non-trannyfag FTM transsexuals will occasionally (before getting a penis) get pregnant and go on Oprah as a "pregnant man." This is clearly doing it wrong.
Dislieks: Having mammary glands and child-bearing hips, wearing pink
Secrets: Moast gay men are immediately turned off by the mere presence of a vagina so they have a hard time getting accepted.
8.) Stonerfag: This fag wakes up every day with a packed pipe/rolled joint right next to the beg, starts smoking, immediately goes on 420chan and cackles to himself maniacally, and then eats sum Doritos and goes back to bed. If we only had robots and no social responsibility, this might be an ideal life. Since having a civilization requires we do more than this, this is clearly a good way to fail.
Either do this in college, do it on your days off, or don't do it at all.
Dislieks: Having mammary glands and child-bearing hips, wearing pink
Secrets: Moast gay men are immediately turned off by the mere presence of a vagina so they have a hard time getting accepted.
8.) Stonerfag: This fag wakes up every day with a packed pipe/rolled joint right next to the beg, starts smoking, immediately goes on 420chan and cackles to himself maniacally, and then eats sum Doritos and goes back to bed. If we only had robots and no social responsibility, this might be an ideal life. Since having a civilization requires we do more than this, this is clearly a good way to fail.
Either do this in college, do it on your days off, or don't do it at all.
Lieks: That stanky good ass chronic that he got from the California medical marijuana dispensary, fuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk man I'm so wasted etc; etc; Chips Ahoy, Doritos.
Dislieks: The man, capitalism, claims to liek socialism but honestly would disliek it because it requires too much work for him IRL.
Secrets: Some good lulz can be had with this type of fag by telling him you got some opium and instead giving him crushed up kibbles and bits ftw. The best is when kibbles and bits get him "So fucked up, man!"
9.) Failfag: Only someone as fail as this type of fag could turn trolling a fail religion into a type of fail all its own. Often will respond to the beck and call of any so-called "Anonymous leaders" (oxymoron amirite?) Many of these failfags are only involved because they have fantasies about getting Moot's semen (it's just like the burning blood from Alien) all over their faces while getting assraepd by Tom Cruise. Have found a way to ruin the Guy Fawkes mask and use the (stale, boring) Rickroll in the stupidest fashion imagineable all in one swoop. If you put a sticky with an address up on 4chan with a time and date, chances are failfags will descend en masse.
If I were Epic Fail Guy, I'd be crying
Dislieks: The man, capitalism, claims to liek socialism but honestly would disliek it because it requires too much work for him IRL.
Secrets: Some good lulz can be had with this type of fag by telling him you got some opium and instead giving him crushed up kibbles and bits ftw. The best is when kibbles and bits get him "So fucked up, man!"
9.) Failfag: Only someone as fail as this type of fag could turn trolling a fail religion into a type of fail all its own. Often will respond to the beck and call of any so-called "Anonymous leaders" (oxymoron amirite?) Many of these failfags are only involved because they have fantasies about getting Moot's semen (it's just like the burning blood from Alien) all over their faces while getting assraepd by Tom Cruise. Have found a way to ruin the Guy Fawkes mask and use the (stale, boring) Rickroll in the stupidest fashion imagineable all in one swoop. If you put a sticky with an address up on 4chan with a time and date, chances are failfags will descend en masse.
If I were Epic Fail Guy, I'd be crying
Lieks: Much like the Scientologists failfags are aiming to troll, failfags respond to being told what to do like good obedient sheep. These fags are probably an average 80% of any given /b/ and are simply being used by other Anons for the lulz. Will Rickroll you at the drop of a hat and think it is still the most hilarious thing on Earth.
Dislieks: Scientology (as long as they are told so), Original Content.
Secrets: The remedy to any failfag gathering is to 1.) ignore them and 2.) get some failfags to eat some mescaline. Retreat to a safe distance and watch some ultra mega supaa lulz ensue.
10.) Eurofags: Either a fag from Europe who makes any flamboyant flaming gay man look like the butchest man alive or a fag from the US who thinks that pretending he is European will make him seem cultured. Will make comments about how Americans don't know anything about good food but then go to their kitchen and eat some Bovril (Beef Extract FTL), Kidney Pie, Blood Pudding, and Liverwurst. Thinks that comparing one country's failures with another country's success is a good use of his time. Does not notice the irony that when he is doing that he is utterly failing himself.
Dislieks: Scientology (as long as they are told so), Original Content.
Secrets: The remedy to any failfag gathering is to 1.) ignore them and 2.) get some failfags to eat some mescaline. Retreat to a safe distance and watch some ultra mega supaa lulz ensue.
10.) Eurofags: Either a fag from Europe who makes any flamboyant flaming gay man look like the butchest man alive or a fag from the US who thinks that pretending he is European will make him seem cultured. Will make comments about how Americans don't know anything about good food but then go to their kitchen and eat some Bovril (Beef Extract FTL), Kidney Pie, Blood Pudding, and Liverwurst. Thinks that comparing one country's failures with another country's success is a good use of his time. Does not notice the irony that when he is doing that he is utterly failing himself.
WTF IS THIS SHIT FOR SRS?
Lieks: Pretending to go to farmers markets and cheese chops online but actually shopping at Wal-Mart and eating hot-dogs and other phallic foods. American culture is a huge favorite of Eurofags (but they vehemently deny it.)
Dislieks: Any sense of male beauty. Will work as hard as possible to look as much like a horribly unattractive woman as possible.
Secrets: Shiny objects will distract a Eurofag for a decent period of time, so if you ever come across a Eurofag in a dark alley, just throw down any Apple gear you have, or in a pinch, some fake costume jewelry.
So, guise, that's it for Fagging It Up for noww. I may continue this as I see fit in a while. Keep your eyes out watching for fags; they're everyone (especially YOU.)
Dislieks: Any sense of male beauty. Will work as hard as possible to look as much like a horribly unattractive woman as possible.
Secrets: Shiny objects will distract a Eurofag for a decent period of time, so if you ever come across a Eurofag in a dark alley, just throw down any Apple gear you have, or in a pinch, some fake costume jewelry.
So, guise, that's it for Fagging It Up for noww. I may continue this as I see fit in a while. Keep your eyes out watching for fags; they're everyone (especially YOU.)
Subscribe by RSS